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In Case You Missed It…

I have another post over at Provoketive Magazine that went up last week.This one has a different focus than the previous ones I have written and was born out of a conversation over coffee that I had with two friends about a year and a half ago. Here’s an excerpt:

“At what point do you say, ‘Wow, I really want to dangle upside down from silk scarves and play the violin for a living’?” This question was posed by myself and couple friends of mine as we reconnected over a cup of coffee. We were discussing life paths and career choices– still trying to figure out what we wanted to do “when we grew up”, despite having  graduated from college and started various jobs, families, and all recently having reached the milestone 30th birthday. It was in this context that one of my friends mentioned the aerial violinist, Janice Martin. We collectively wondered: what is the secret to thinking so decidedly out of the box as this performer does?

To read the rest, go here!



The ‘C’ Word

My latest post in Provoketive Magazine, just published today, wasn’t actually a post I wanted to write. It may be a bit too lengthy, it raises questions to which I don’t have answers, and it gets personal. A little too personal, if you ask me. 

While I have tended to write about my experience with that ministry frequently on his blog, I don’t think I’ve ever really confronted the “is it or isn’t it” question that I raise in this article. For one thing, it’s embarrassing… how did I manage to get caught up in that for 8 years? Secondly, I don’t want to be defined by my experience there. But, the thing is, I did spend 8 years there. That’s almost a quarter of my life. Naturally, a lot of my stories are going to be from there.

A teaser:

There’s a  four-letter word getting thrown around a lot lately. It’s a word I’ve heard used flippantly, jokingly, and disparagingly. Admittedly, sometimes it seems like the most accurate, albeit inflammatory, word to use. Often this word is spoken, perhaps rightly so, by broken and hurting people out of pain and frustration. It’s a word that was used by a commenter on my previous post in Provoketive Magazine, Slap On a Little Lipstick, You’ll Be Fine. If I am being completely honest, it’s a word I’ve used, sometimes quickly out of anger, and a lot more cautiously after great deliberation.

That’s right, I am talking about the ‘C’ word: Cult.

Here’s a link to the whole dang thing:

I would like to say, while many of my humorous stories from my time at the ministry are negative, I do have positive memories. I will try to share some of those… maybe even later tonight. 



Rejected Book Ideas, Volume One

When thinking about things I would like to accomplish in my lifetime, something that often comes to mind is writing a book. It seems like a great idea, until I realize I can barely make my posts cohesive enough to justify a blog. Perhaps that’s why I went the route of Tumblr, where random seems to reign almighty. 

If I dissect what I tend to blog about, I do find a few key topics: 

1. My 30-Something Life Crisis. Of course, I couldn’t even keep a blog going about that single topic for more than a few posts, until I gave up and decided to write about whatever the hell I wanted to. So, obviously that’s a bad idea. Rejected Book Idea #1.

2. Funny stories about differences between living in the North versus the South. I’m pretty sure I don’t have enough stories to make an entire book about this, but a humorous memoir on that topic would be fun to write. Unfortunately, humorous memoirs are kind of a thing right now. I have no problem piggy-backing on what’s hot, but I’d bet publishers and literary agents are currently wading through a deluge of them. And, as I like to joke, I don’t actually live in the South, I live in The Retirement Community for New Yorkers. Sounds like a best seller to me! Rejected Book Idea #2 (or at least shelved until memoirs are no longer hip and/or I have enough funny stories to make it a worthwhile read).

3. My previous hellish job working for a minister. I do have a sh’load of stories from this job, some funny, some sad, and some rage-inducing. The content is all there—- the trouble is writing it in such a way that it is either completely anonymous or only about events that I have tangible evidence to prove they happened, so I don’t get my sorry butt sued. Or, I could turn it into a pseudo-fiction book, a la The Devil Wears Prada. I could call it The Devil Drives an Escalade but Still Can’t Afford to Pay Me or The Devil Works in Christian Ministry. That of course would make it another Christian rip-off of an already awesome thing. We have quite enough of those. So, until I can flesh this into a better idea, that makes this Rejected Book Idea #3.

Look for Rejected Book Ideas, Volume Two: Piggy-backing Off the Teen Paranormal Romance Phenomenon, coming soon!



Provoketive Magazine Feature Article

I know I haven’t been doing much personal writing on here as of late, but I do hope to get back to that in the very near future. I’m trying to sort out in my mind what works best as my personal blog posts and what material really works better in other venues. Sometimes they overlap. 

To that end, today I will be leaving a teaser and a link to another post of mine in Provoketive Magazine. This time I have the honor of “featured article”. Anyway, this post was inspired by a humorous anecdote (well, I think it’s pretty darn hilarious) from a former job. If I gained nothing else from that job, it was an arsenal of unbelievable stories. 

Before I came into my current position as The Queen of Awesomeness (also known as Stay at Home Mom; hey, if I don’t get paid, at least I can give myself promotions in title only), I was the personal assistant to the head and founder of an organization that shall remain nameless. My boss was a bit bi-polar in his office demeanor, one day perfectly amiable and fun to work under, the next day spitting nails over a single hair being out-of-place.

I mention this, because the physical appearance of his employees was of particular importance to him; in addition to the normal business-attire dress code found in many office policies, he was very particular that all female employees wore makeup– especially lipstick. Lip gloss was not acceptable; it had to be lipstick. I often jokingly wondered if there were specific office-approved lipstick colors, and I would have asked if I’d believed I could keep a straight face.

Go HERE to read the rest!



Post in Provoketive Magazine

So, I wrote a little post for Provoketive Magazine. Have you heard of Provoketive Magazine? If not, check them out! They are all about creating an open and safe space for discussing hot topics in life, faith, culture, and justice, without judgment. Trolls need not apply! ; )

Here’s an excerpt from my post, titled “What’s the Punch Line?”

I have a confession: sometimes I view my relationship to God like a poorly written and badly delivered joke. Where am I in this equation? I am the punch line, of course.

This is very àpropos, given my penchant for humor. If humor was a calling or a spiritual gift, you can bet I’d be constantly on the prayer hotline asking for that one.  Humor can defuse potentially awkward or difficult situations.  It’s also a great defense mechanism, one of many in my arsenal. However, humor is a lot less humorous when you are the butt of the joke. Specifically, an evil genie joke.

To read the rest of the post, follow this link: